I usually try to avoid clichs, but when it rains it pours. Recently, it has been revealed to me that most people are recovering from something. It was planted in my mind a long time ago that some peoples lives are easier than others, but that is not true. I imagined that hard times show on a persons face or in their attitude. The people who smile everyday and have a great attitude could not possibly know what it is like to suffer. The truth is that we all go through things and what truly separates us is how we let it affect us. In one of my classes, the students discuss the effects of living in poverty. A lack of resources results in common outcomes. People learn survival maneuvers and attitude adjustments that help them get through life. Some people can sustain a certain lifestyle their entire lives, others make progress and develop a new approach. Making progress usually means that they no longer live in poverty. There are many successful people who started with nothing. We have all heard the stories of people who make it on their own. What we dont often hear is how they maintain optimism and find the strength to keep going when times were hard. And times get hard for everybody. It is childlike to believe that they were happy every day while they made amazing transitions. Its childish to think that the transitions were smooth. I will admit to thinking like a child about those things for a long time. Recent experiences have shown me that people go from challenge to challenge. Some use those challenges to become better, some become bitter. What is the difference between people who overcome difficulties and those who are defeated? I recently spoke to two young women who work for their family business. The business is growing and everyone is adjusting to a higher volume of activity and pressure to produce more. The loose structure of a family business doesnt work now that they have over a hundred employees. One would think that this would be a shaky time for the business, but its not. Three years ago, an employee embezzled two million dollars. No one knew how they would recover. The family of owners talked about shutting things down, until one of them had a vision. There was a way to stay open and he was determined to try. There are many details, but overall it was a struggle. The financial problem was huge, but mostly the owners chose not to focus on that. They did not want to be overwhelmed by the numbers. They decided to focus on rebuilding trust. They didnt want their employees to believe that an embezzler could change the whole course of their lives. They felt like it was their calling to show solidarity and strength to the people who relied on them for a living. They downsized, they budgeted, they restructured. Three years later they have seen tremendous growth. No setback seems minor when you are experiencing it. There is also no way to determine if one setback is bigger than another. People tend to look at the things you can measure and see, but those are not always the most important losses. Knowing that people trust you for their livelihood was a much stronger motivator than recovering the money that was lost. Driving around, I see churches and offices for lawyers, doctors, bail bondsmen and counselors. Their whole purpose is to restore balance to peoples lives. There are people all around us who are prepared to help us through our lowest points. An emphasis on money keeps us from really seeing what we are losing, and what is important to recover. If it was only a matter of dollars and cents, why would we continue to go through the challenges? Real success comes from knowing what is important to you and being who you were born to be. |
